Think of the word: relationship. It may bring up images of romantic partnerships or feelings of support from a family. Human connection is vital to our health and overall wellbeing and adds richness and depth to our lives. Relationships can have as much an impact on health as smoking, diet, and exercise.
We can identify many healthy relationships by how they make us feel. We should feel comfortable with and connected to the people who surround us. As cheesy as it may sound, you want to surround yourself with people who will continue to make your light shine brighter. You want people around you who will pick you up and support you.
When seeking to grow a relationship, look for someone who supports you and who challenges you in a way where you can openly and safely communicate your feelings. No matter the nature of your relationship, whether in a family or a friend group, you’ll want the same essential elements: trust, accountability, respect, honesty, support, cooperation, intimacy, and fairness.
Creating and participating in healthy groups and relationships allows our feel-good hormones to release, which help combat anxiety, depression, and trauma while promoting happiness, motivation, and hope.
Knowing what a healthy relationship is and how it should feel is only one part of the puzzle. We all have to work to maintain and grow relationships. Fostering any healthy relationship begins with connection and support.
We can build connections or dive deeper into existing relationships by trying new hobbies or activities and sharing our experiences. A new experience could be as simple as reading the same book or as exciting as travel. Sharing experiences opens lines of communication and creates moments of belonging, which can strengthen the bond between two people.
A natural part of relationships is conflict. Consider pausing, taking responsibility, and solving the problem together if you enter into an argument. Sometimes, saying “I love you and I need space” or “I need to cool down before going further in this conversation because I respect you and want to be here to talk” can save a disagreement from out-of-control escalation.
Respect is a massive piece of healthy relationships and managing conflict. Setting boundaries in the heat of the moment can be challenging’ but if you can, there may be enormous payoffs for both parties. My best advice is to listen, ask questions, and learn.
Finally, showing support for friends and loved ones is vital. If there is a big event or stressful situation at work, show up. Sometimes, “showing up” means physically attending an event. Other times it’s lending an ear to listen. Be their cheerleader! Your commitment will go a long way in helping someone feel loved.
Weathering conflict, opening up and making space for others — these are important, but sometimes challenging, skills to master. Therapy can help us develop and hone those skills, ultimately leading to healthier and more fulfilling connections to the people we care most about.
Ashley Angerer-Blunt is the director of outpatient service at Burrell Behavioral Health.
