I have always been a highly relational person. I love people and their dreams and always feel excited about helping them in any way I can to accomplish them. One of the hardest things about being such a lover of people for me is that I’ve had to learn when to hold on and when to let go. This need for painful transitions has come in the form of friends, clients, vendors, and even my children to some degree as they have become adults. Through trial and error, I have learned that relationships with the following people have been critical for any of my past success and will be for reaching my future goals.
Inner Circle Friends
It’s great to have a lot of friends. I love the many forms of friendships that I have with people – those that I see every day, those that I see seldom but it feels like we never miss a beat, and many other forms from acquaintance to “ride or dies.” However, I have learned that the value of having your inner circle small and close cannot be overstated. Most people don’t have the mental and emotional capacity to be fully vulnerable and authentically engaged with more than a few people, but when we do engage in this capacity it is very rewarding.
I’ve had to choose to make changes in this space over the years to leave room for what I needed most from a few rather than some from a lot. Having friends that you know you can cry with, seek advice from, celebrate with, be vulnerable with, and that will show up for you in the middle of your darkest hour without having to be asked is priceless and is only possible with intentionality. I am blessed to have a few of these that have really helped support me through some tough times personally and professionally.
Board of Directors
This is the name I have for my team of advisors and professionals that I need to be a successful business owner. This is a team that consists of a banker, a lawyer, an accountant, an insurance agent, and a financial planner. (I’d add marketing person, but I get to be that for myself.) Not only can they help keep you out of trouble, but if you have any modicum of success, they should all work together to help you maximize your success and profits. Having saved a business through COVID, I can tell you that this group of people is invaluable as well. Without question, my business wouldn’t be here today without them.
Family
No amount of success matters if you don’t have your loved ones to share it with. Someone very close to me told me a story about working so hard to achieve their goals only to turn around when they accomplished them to find that those they wanted to share it with the most were gone. It can be a sad truth that as business owners, we feel there’s always time later for the family … that they will understand, but that’s not always true. The relationships I have with my children and my sisters are my most treasured. I work hard for myself, because I love my work and it fulfills me. But I can’t do that at the cost of time with those that need me. I’ve learned that I can’t let the work cut me off from the “why.”
My sisters and I realized about a year ago that we accidentally let too much time pass without catching up, so we have a Saturday morning coffee date on FaceTime every week. This is an example of what I needed to do to be able to stay connected to relationships that were very important to me.
The key to each version of these relationships is intentionality. People prioritize what is important to them. Simple yet true. Who is important to you? Do they know that?
